Someone's been sleeping in my bed

I have faith that someday I will find a special someone to share my life with. I miss being in a marriage, cooking and pampering a man who in turn will rub my back, listen to my ramblings and give me advice. Someone who likes to hold hands, go for walks, enjoy ball games together, go to the movies and share a popcorn with extra butter and salt. I'm not sure when he'll find me, so in the meantime I try to continue to make improvements in myself so I'll be ready.

I've tried online dating and some of the things I've discovered are: 1. men my age are old, 2. it's too bad Match.com and LDSsingles.com don't run background checks, 3. people don't always tell the truth! Several times I agreed to meeting someone I met online (after long and extensive emails and phone conversations first) and each time the experience was deplorable, the person I met each time didn't match the person they represented themselves to be. First let me say that men in their 50s should NOT wear pants with an elastic waist! They should actually be employeed and they should not be homeless! Being able to walk from one end of The Gateway to the other would also be nice (without panting and sweating profusely). They should also NOT be sexual deviants... women do not find this an attractive attribute, we don't want to hear about you being a voyeur on the first date! After one horrible experience after another (did I mention the humilation of having your photo and profile online, having dozens of men look at it and pass you by ...what am I chopped liver?) I decided that it's not all that bad being alone. I would wait until someone I know lines me up with Mr. Right... that would be safe, right??? HA!

So, my good friend Dave and his wife call me to ask if I would go on a blind date with a friend of theirs. "Sure", I said. We agree on a date and time... I would meet them at their house and then the four of us would grab some lunch. Now, I'm feeling like I'm sixteen again, giddy with possiblities (why do we women do this?)! I park in their driveway, Dave has the garage door open, he waves at me energetically and I can see the backside of someone standing on the porch... my heart is racing. Dave says, "Hey Diana, I want you to meet my friend Mateo." Mateo walks over... all 4'8" of him, his silk shirt unbuttoned down to the button just above his belly button showing me his smooth, hairless chest (I figured he must have been really proud of it, showing it off like that). He shakes my hand, trying to look up at my eyes, which must have been difficult since his eyes were about the height of "the girls"... and says something in Spanish, I have no idea what since I don't speak Spanish. At that instant I thought, "What the hell am I doing? What cruel joke is this... am I being punked?" all the time waiting for someone to jump out of the bushes and cry "surprize!" Well, we went to lunch, ...Chinese. Mateo (speaking through Dave, the only one who also spoke Spanish) made small talk. Me, wondering how I could fake a sudden illness (if I grabbed my chest, they'd call 911... that wouldn't do; I could hold my breath til I turn blue and pass out... nope they'd call 911 then too. I couldn't come up with anything that would allow me to get into my own car and drive myself home.) So I endured... I did find out that Mateo was not only a smooth chested Mexican with the arms like a little person (is that the politically correct way to say midget?), he also spoke no English (none) even though he has been in the U.S. for over seven years... illegally, deported once and made it back in less than 72-hours (he seemed really proud of that too)! It became clear to me that my friend Dave doesn't have a clue... about a lot of things! I survived yet another date from hell and determined even stronger than before, that being single isn't all that bad!

From time to time, when Harmony (6 yrs old) crawls into my bed at night and snuggles up I ask her, "Harmony, what are we going to do when Nana meets a man, we fall in love and get married?" Without a hesitation she replies, "He can sleep in my bed, I'm not using it!" And so you have it, not even my bed is mine alone... not that I mind most nights. But still, I hope and try to have faith that someone, someday will take her place.